What are Relationship Goals?
The quote ‘relationship goals’ has been thrown around social media for a couple of years now but what does it actually mean?
I am by no means a relationship expert but I am pretty sure ‘relationship goals’ are different for everyone and change over time.
I remember when I was first interested in boys and relationships I thought my first boyfriend would be the love of my life, we would be married by 20 because 20 was super old when your 13, we would buy a house together and have children all before we were 25 and in that time we would have the best paid jobs, so your typical nuclear family.
As the years went by and reality set in I suddenly realised that getting a career was far more important than boys. I wish my brain told my heart though because I’m pretty sure it got broken multiple times during my years at university. As it stands I actually only know of one or two relationships that are still standing from university so its not all doom and gloom.
Now my personal experience with relationships has not been the best. My first real love ended after a year as we were going our separate ways to different universities and both moved on with our lives. When I finally got my degree I actually found out I was pregnant, the relationship was only 10 months old so I should of known it wasn’t going to be a happy ending for me but I got on with it, tried my best and quite frankly did everything in my power to keep the relationship together but it was not to be. I actually moved back to my parents so they could support my daughter and me.
Don’t worry it does have a happy ending but we are not there yet. While living back with my parents my first love actually moved back to his parents too and we got close again but not too close my guard was up and I was raising a child but the love was there and it was very much not the right time. Unfortunately when it was the right time it was too late, he sadly passed away after a car accident and honestly after that I closed myself off to relationships all together. I was still having issues co-parenting and decided enough was enough and moved away from everything and started a fresh.
Ida was now starting school I had been single 3 years and intended for it to stay that way but a year later here goes my heart being stupid again, I was taken for an absolute mug. It was they type of relationship you want to forget but it ends up impacting how you react to situations in all following relationships. So yes single AGAIN but I knew the next one had to be it, I didn’t want my daughter seeing multiple men be in and out of my life.
2020 arrived and as well all know it changed the dating scene completely I luckily met John just before the first lock down but this came with its own challenges. Our first date was over face time, we made our selves dinner, made sure we looked nice from the waist up and pretended we were in a restaurant. It was pretty cool no pressure of what was going to happen at the end of the night and we had great conversations. Now when you can’t physically meet each other all you can do it talk, it enabled us to really get to know each other before anything else happened. Once single parent house holds were allowed to form bubbles it was finally time to meet, with us both having children we both knew we had to be certain before we met each other’s children. John had a 6-month rule imposed, which we followed, and he met Ida a couple of months before as he started working from my home when he didn’t have the boys. After that the rest was history.
We have just celebrated our 2-year anniversary; I honestly didn’t think we would make it. It’s been far from an easy ride, you see these relationships portrayed online like everything is perfect, you watch things like Love Island or Love is Blind and think it’s all fairy tales. I assure you its not, a lot of hard work goes into relationships, I have and still am learning that I can’t just run away when things get difficult and I am sure John is still learning to deal with my erratic mood swings due to my hormones. In these 2 years we have moved in together, dealt with what feels’ like 1 million co-parenting problems, started saving for a house, travelled to different places around the UK and tried new experiences together. For me relationship goals used to look like a typical nuclear family but now it’s just being together in our crazy world and being happy with how we are as a family (bloody crazy). Everyone will think differently but I have now learnt that if you love someone it takes hard work and effort to keep it that way and eventually it will feel effortless. Don’t let social media dictate what ‘relationship goals’ are you will only see a filtered version everyone is guilty of this including myself because who honestly posts about the arguments.
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Thank you for your blog article.Much thanks again. Much obliged.