Ectopic Pregnancy: My Story
Welcome to my little baby blog another branch of my travel and lifestyle website where I will focus on my journey to have my second child, my little rainbow baby. I didn’t think my first post of this topic would be a negative one but it came to my attention that no one really talks about ectopic pregnancies. 1 in 90 women in the UK have an ectopic pregnancy which is a pregnancy outside the uterus with the most common happening in the fallopian tubes. Once you have had an ectopic pregnancy it gives you a 10% chance of having another one which is unfortunately what has happened to me, if you have followed my socials you may be aware that I had an ectopic in December 2022 which I recovered from quiet quickly.
In December 2023 we found out we were pregnant again and were so excited I was only around 4 weeks, due to the previous ectopic I was able to book an early scan to check all was ok. The scan showed the second ectopic in the same place as the previous one, we were both distraught I just couldn’t understand how it could happen again, why me, what is wrong with my body. The grief was different to what I had experienced before because with an ectopic there isn’t a foetus as it wasn’t able to get to that stage, I felt that I was grieving the idea of a baby and the fact I now couldn’t try again for so long and what if I can no longer have a baby what then. I had so many thoughts running through my head, the pain was unbearable.
I then had to make the decision of my treatment I was so desperate for my body to naturally dissolve the ectopic this would allow us to try again sooner. The other two options were the methotrexate injection and surgery these would incur long recovery times. Eventually the decision to have the methotrexate injection again was the right course of action as I thought I would recover as quickly as I did last time. That wasn’t the case, this time my hormone levels were much higher and have taken nearly two months to get back down to were they should be, this has meant regular blood tests. I was so unwell for so long there would be days I couldn’t get out of bed either due to sickness from the methotrexate or depression from the loss.
While going through my recovery I was trying to find people like me and to be honest I really couldn’t find many UK based women who were sharing their experiences. The only known celebrity who has been open about about their own ectopic is Charlotte Crosby, stories and experiences seemed to be far and few between I had no idea how to move forward from the heart ache or where to find information about people who had been through the same. However I did find some comfort in watching women sharing their journeys of trying to conceive even though I was no longer able to do that for a while.
About three to four weeks into my recovery I suffered from acute abdominal pain episodes which were so bad John would have to drop everything and take me to hospital, still to this day I am trying to find out what caused the pain. I am also trying to find out the cause on my ectopics because to be honest I am fed up of hearing it was just bad luck. I have had an abdominal scan which didn’t pick up anything bad and my next appointment will be a gynaecological consultant.
Another struggle to deal with was returning to work, having to pretend that I was okay when I definitely was not. I cried pretty much every day at some point, other colleagues being pregnant or any chat about babies was triggering. Life felt so unfair, but very slowly we have picked up the pieces and focused on other things to get through such a horrendous time in our lives.
I hope my story has helped you and you have found some comfort in the thought that someone else has been where you are now, things will get better in time.
Ciao
Emma x
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