I’m Back, but I needed a Break
Im back from a long break from blogging and posting a lot on social media. I needed the break as so much has happened and it’s been a huge impact on my mental health. Some events have been happy but stressful others have been downright awful.I think it’s good for everyone, once in a while to just step back from it all especially from social media, I needed to re-evaluate what was important to me.
When I started this blog my only intention was to share travel content from simple day trips to the peak district to once in a life time holidays, as time went on it evolved into family travel stories and tips with a splash of my life story. Something that has become a big part of my life is being a step parent, I feel like it’s been long enough now to label myself as one. I genuinely thought coming into this as someone who is a mother already and the boys being young and accepting of change it would just click, oh how I was wrong.
From my perspective, i’ve always felt like its been a bit of an up hill battle being a part of their lives knowing that in the background everything I say and do gets twisted by a third party, what starts off as a simple joke gets turned into alleged emotional abuse and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I am sure there are plenty of step parents having to deal with so much worse but for me this has put me in some awful situations physically and mentally. I am always amazed with how calm and unfazed John is with everything as I know he bares the full force of any negative words thrown our way, however I have never been great when it comes to depression and anxiety.
Earlier in the year in the run up to some huge changes that were causing me to feel at my lowest, I self referred myself to an NHS CBT councillor. I’m not a stranger to counselling as it’s helped me through the death of a very closed friend and my prenatal depression. I was able to really talk through my feelings and the causes of them. We worked through several idea’s for coping strategies and using Vex King’s The Greatest Self-Help book which is a journal to help you feel grateful and manifest more positive things. At first I was dubious but as I worked through it my mind set definitely started to change. Time went on and life got busy so I did stop using it and haven’t started up again but I know its there when I need it.
One of my biggest and most important break throughs was the fact that it does not matter what awful things are said about myself and my family on social media or to the children because we know and they know it’s simply not true. I guess its an important lesson to everyone who’s suffered at the hands of online trolls that no matter what they say they can’t hurt you and if you feel low or depressed because of it seek help, don’t suffer alone. Online trolls or key board warriors as I like to call them only seek to hurt others, they enjoy the control they have but as soon as you take control back they soon move on to someone else. Sad I know that someone else will suffer but I like to think what goes around comes around.
Now lets move onto more positive things if you have not already seen one of two big changes this year is that the boys are now with us every other week. It has been a big adjustment for everyone but its been great and definitely made us more of a family unit. I won’t sugar coat it though its definitely hard working in and out of step parent mode every other week and well you will know how that’s going. It was a stressful and challenging time to start with, but once the change was made it took a great weight off this families shoulders.
We then took the plunge and went on the big house hunt. For us this didn’t take long, we took a leap of faith with a property which needed some serious TLC more than we realised. For the size of home we needed for our already big family and for the price of it we couldn’t let it go. The process from mortgage application to completion date was five months we found it quiet a stressful process but nothing compared to the stress of having two weeks to get it liveable and then moving into a home with no kitchen and the living room being a storage location for a month and a half. When people say that moving house is more stressful than divorce they are not lying but I have no intentions of experiencing divorce so I guess I will never know.
There have been some wonderful moments which I will talk about in more detail individually these include, going to see my queen, my idol Beyonce twice on her spectacular Renaissance tour I was even able to take my daughter for the first time which was a magical moment. We had a great adventure to Scotland with my parents over the summer and myself and John got the chance to get away to Northern Ireland.
So like I said earlier stress can be caused by all sorts and the best thing we can do is manage it and know when to seek help. I do hope as this year comes to a close everything calms down. As I continue with this blog I do hope I can use my experiences to help others wether that be booking that life time holiday, going on a child friendly day trip, home renovations or parental alienation and so much more.
Speak to you guys soon. Ciao
x
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